Living and partly living
Time. You can’t get it back. You can’t buy more. It’s the most precious resource...
Or is it?
Time is invaluable, there’s no denying that. However, equally or even more important, is energy.
What good is a plethora of time if you have no energy to do anything with it?
Lately, I get off from my 9-5 and my brain is fried. I struggle to read, I struggle to write. Spending time with my family isn’t as enjoyable. It’s a terrible feeling.
We promise our job 40 hours a week, but are so exhausted after a shift that even the time that’s “ours” is still in their possession. Then we spend our weekends recovering, trying to catch up on errands, and taking care of the things we didn’t get done during the week.
This is no way to live.
I wish I had the answer for how to break this cycle. A large inheritance? Hit the lottery? Not sure.
But I do know the first step to any change is acknowledging the reality of the situation. And the reality is that this model of working and living is soul-crushing. Trading five days for two is a bum deal.
“Living and partly living.”
Goes the line from T.S. Eliot’s Murder in the Cathedral.
I first heard that line in high school. I remember thinking how that will never be me. (you’ve gotta admire the ignorant optimism of the teenage mind). I was convinced that by my current age I’d be living life to the fullest, probably a millionaire, answering to no one, and doing as I please.
And now, I live many days, with this line playing in my head “Living and partly living”. This isn’t a pity party. It’s stream of consciousness... thinking out loud.
I have plenty of time to forge a better way of living, that’s what I’m working toward.
For now though, I’ll fight to keep the precious time and energy I do have. I write this with tired eyes and fatigued mind, but I write it nonetheless. Because I am determined not to let work overtake my whole life. To creep into my off hours and take away my passions.
Maybe I’m living and partly living,
But as long as I’m living at all, there’s a chance for change.